I've had so many panic attacks in the last 3 weeks, it scares me. After the half done flight test on 10-Oct, there was not a day when I was not in some kind of trouble. First I fell off the bike and hurt my knee and ended up limping for 3 days. When the knee was getting better, I woke up one day with a super stiff neck and upper back. That lasted 4 days. Then I burnt my index finger while cooking. The next day I was chopping onions and managed a nice thumb carving. It just went on and on. It was spooky. Then came the news of the demise of 2 family members, my great-grand-mother, and my uncle, in the same week.

My CFI agreed to do the flight test on 30-Oct. The weather forecast for this Monday was looking good. There were only the 3 days, Monday through Wednesday, when the forecast was looking good. All week before that and after that was crappy forecast. With the spooky incidents and the family news, I was getting very nervous, not from the inside, but from the outside. I scraped in a solo flight and one dual flight before the flight test. I passed the test! I am now officially a Private Pilot. I can fly most single engine non-high-performance aircrafts for non-commercial purposes.

The flight test itself was so humbling. I found myself at the receiving end so many times. I am slow, not completely prepared, not thorough at all, and got nervous sometimes. Yes I passed, but I'm not very proud of myself. My performance was below average, close to failure at times, and I could have done so much better. To some extent I had bottled myself up before the test, trying not to let the last week and the uncooperative weather bog me down. I did get stressed a little, but kept strong till the end of the test. It all ended with a big sigh of relief, and after the examiner gave me a hand shake and exited from the aircraft, a few drops of tears to top it off.

I learnt from this test that it's tough. I have to put in a lot more hard work if I want to get to the end of the course and not look like a fool. I took to aviation as a career, as a prospective job with a sustainable income. But this looks to be more demanding than just another job. This needs heart and soul. This needs blood. This needs passion. Something I had not considered before I dived into it.

The PPL has taken me 7 months. How long will the CPL take? I don't know. But the Commercial Pilot License is more serious business, and it will take immense dedication. I'm prepared for it. Before I get down to doing it, there are other things to be considered. Like the conversion exams that I have to write in India. Many of the students from India tell me that the exams in India are a lot tougher than the ones here in Canada, and if one can clear the exams in India, the Canadian exams will be very easy to do. So why not attempt the Indian exams first? Besides, there's not a lot of flying that will happen in the winter. If I study for the Canadian exams first, then I have to study again for the Indian exams. On the other hand, if I study for the Indian exams first, I have to put in much lesser effort for the Canadian exams. Makes sense to me.

After much discussion and deliberation, I have determined that, in the best academic interest, and for the most efficient utilization of time and money, it would be a good decision to immediately return to India for the winter, attempt the exams in India, and return to Canada after winter, to complete the course here. The final decision will be made soon.

Cheers
Mayur Poddar