Cheers
Mayur
I want to break free. Free in the mind and free in the heart. It’s difficult to explain, this freedom. There are so many facets to it, larger ones like society, relationships, education, occupation, religion, politics, parenting, upbringing, and smaller personal ones like how you dress, what you drive, and where you live. The one that I think about en masse is the role of society in my life, and vice versa. Am I really one of the countless threads that make up the ostensible picturesque fabric of society? If I am, then in at least half the situations that bring this society face to face with me, I am completely out of place. I will either feel out of place or be made aware so, and then I will act and react accordingly. And though that does not bother me, it creates an ugly ripple effect on those around me, and also quite obviously, on society. I just groan about and grapple with society and it’s infatuation with unrelenting multitudes of rules and regulations (and also directives).
For several months now, each time I wanted to write an article, my mind was flooded with the same thoughts over and over: job, finances, aviation, health, friends, parents, life. The mind advertently bends towards philosophy or romance, and I wrote something completely senseless, and ended up sticking a one liner on facebook. And once in a blue moon, the energy level will attempt to conquer Mt. Everest, and such rare escapades will result in a poem.
It’s all very different to me. There was a time when I tried so hard to read and understand poems, even the ones she wrote for me, but they just didn’t permeate my thick skull. I didn’t even appreciate the fact that she wrote poems for me. Yes, I feel stupid about that. Yeats and Tagore and Shakespeare actually make sense now. I at times wake up remembering a dream or recollecting an incident from the previous day, and pen down a sweet nothing. Everybody is looking so beautiful today. I slow down to glance at the leaves and smell the flowers. I feel at peace although there is so much insecurity and vagueness in my life. It’s all very different to me.
My closest friends give me tremendous support and are my quiet inspiration. They are like my energy stations. I can recharge anytime by making a phone call. I’ve found some amazing new friends in the past year, and strengthened older ones, and but for all of them, I wouldn’t have been sane enough to write this today. Cheers to all of you. Wish you all a great year ahead.
Here's one more of the abstract one liners. These are my facebook updates, so if you're on my facebook, then you've probably read them already.
Dharma protects those who uphold dharma. Those who violate dharma arenot entitled to that protection. Oh shit man, now you tell me!
Fiqrana hoke hum jeeye Khamakha hum jeeye na kyu Beparvaah hoke hum jeeye Khamakha hum jeeye na kyu
It's the lull before the storm. Change is coming. Soon.
I surf the universe. sometimes the waves of emotion are bigger than expected.
When i am in doubt, one thing is very clear, that i did not give it my 100%
believe that the best relationships are those in which you don't have to try.
Each one of us someone's dream. I keep my fingers crossed.
If I can be honest with myself, I can overcome anything
All i really want, is lots of love.
Sometimes the person you like is not the person you desire. It's just another mess in life.
Whats in a name? Whats in a name? Whats in a name?
Lonliness is a hard reminder, that I am human, and that I have desires.
It's about love. The importance of love. Accepting its power. Feeling it's subtle omni-presence. About believing in yourself. And for love, breaking all barriers and crossing boundaries. Being one. Being free.
My facebook groups: Level1, Friends, Family, CA Buddies, Friends of Friends, Forgotten Friends, CA Junkies
The only thing that can hurt me is you, and I don't have anything else to be afraid of.
One glance is tranquil, the next angst. Then hope, and then dread. Another love-hate relationship. The full moon and me.
It's the 5th of December 2009, 2:25pm. As of just now, I renounce chocolate.
It actually happens. When I wrong somebody, I can feel more hurt.
There's a reason I want you as my guardian angel. I know you understand. I don't care about anybody or anything else, I want you somewhere nearby, all the time. That's my wish. That's my prayer.
There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake, but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say, "Yup, that was a mistake".
Sometimes you just can't tell the person you desire just that. It's yet another mess in life.
And sometimes you just have to say it. That's a mess in life too.
In a situation where I have to choose between dharma and love, if I actually have to think about it, then I'm not that much of a free mind, am I?
I will never buy a car. That is my commitment and passive contribution to protect the environment.
I am i becoz u r u. and i love u very much.
Question. Loving somebody but not being with them or "having" them - VS. - knowing that you can love somebody forever and nobody can take that away from you.
Cheers
Mayur Poddar
@poddu.com
@www.67knots.com
Start Time: Friday, December 25, 2009 at 2:30pm
End Time: Monday, December 28, 2009 at 6:30pm
Location: HAL Convention Center, Bengaluru
Website and Registration Details: http://dhamaka-utsah.webs.com/
The waves of heat that blow over the surface of a desert
It's there, it's for everyone.
It's untouchable, it's for no one.
It's dense, it's intense, it's impenetrable.
It's fragile, delicate, about to disappear.
It's alive, it plays, it's asleep, it drools.
It's calm, it's mad, it laughs, and cries.
It changes in a blink, and again back to it.
It hides things that exist, shows things that aren't.
It is not the mirage.
The mirage is in you, you live a mirage.
Today, I feel like that wave of heat.
Like a thief, unexpectedly you robbed me
No more coldness within my heart
You changed it from dirty stone
Into a beautiful piece of art
To passion I had no vision
But you kissed my eyes and let me see
Another part of my rigid being
You so graciously set free
Emotions which I found foreign,
Seem to be a second language today
You taught me how to speak them
Within my heart they’ll stay
Like a thief, unexpectedly you robbed me
Stole my heart without a peep
I thank you for being so silent
My heart you shall keep
Cheers
Mayur Poddar
@poddu.com
@www.67knots.com
My favourite song was ...
रात कलि एक ख्वाब में आई , और गले का हार हुई ।
सुबह को जब हम नींद से जागे , आँख तुम्ही से चार हुई ।
चाहे कहो इसे मेरी मोहब्बत , चाहे हसीं में उड़ा दो ।
ये क्या हुआ मुझे , मुझको ख़बर नहीं , हो सके तुम ही बता दो ।
तुमने कदम जो , रखा ज़मीन पर , सीने में क्यूँ झंकार हुई ।
Cheers
Mayur Poddar
@poddu.com
@www.67knots.com
In mid-December, I visited Ganga, a friend from old times, at her newly acquired abode. Besides being a top executive in a very large organization, Ganga is also an Art of Living (AOL) teacher, and is rather unrelenting when it comes to making excuses for not attending AOL courses. When I thought I had reasonably convinced her that I couldn’t go to the ashram at the time, she called them and registered my name and gave me the course fee. No way out.
So off I went to the Art of Living ashram in Bangalore. I did the 3 day residential Basic Course at the ashram, during which time I had the opportunity to meet Sri Sri Ravishankar (a.k.a. Guruji). The highlight of the course is the Sudarshan Kriya. During the stay at the ashram, I had several unnatural experiences. Maybe unnatural is not the appropriate word here. Try unusual. These experiences came with the Sudarshan Kriya, meditation, satsang, and at the time of meeting Guruji. The kriya was particularly unnerving the first couple of times.
On day 2, I lost my sandals, and couldn’t find anything comfortable in the one store at the ashram. I was told that this happens all the time at the ashram, and that the sandals were probably stolen, or exchanged with somebody who couldn’t find theirs in a hurry. I felt no anger and quite calmly told myself that whoever had my sandals probably needed them more than me. And probably in a trance, I decided to, and within just about the outer limits of bearable physical distress, managed to stay bare feet for the rest of the 2 days. At the end of day 3, I took a bus home, walked home from the bus stop, and rode the bike to my cousins place for dinner, bare feet. And I was enjoying it. Until my cousin noticed that I was leaving her apartment that way, and got the “Are you crazy! They got to you, didn’t they?!” talk. I must say that the 3 days not only took my mind off the low, but made me feel way better. The low comes from sustained loneliness and unemployment, and makes me think crazy things.
Naveen and Monali came visiting their motherland in December. On Christmas-eve, we drove down to Mysore, Naveen at the wheel, for what was supposed to be a day trip. We had breakfast at Kaadu Mane, where Monali totally freaked out at the monkeys. And how can I forget the search for a Shell gas station, not for the gas, but for the cleanest possible public toilet. I tell you, these 2 have stayed in gora land too long. I played along merrily, but inside, I was feeling restless.
Mysore was a lot of fun. We visited the Mysore Palace and spent good time admiring the paintings and artifacts and figuring out if we could find the existence of our previous births in any of those paintings. Yes, we actually did that. At a spot, I even wanted to lie flat on the floor so I could get a good look at the paintings on the ceiling.
Lunch was at Kamat Yatrinivas, a typical unlimited meal. I ate so much, I couldn’t believe myself. I think all 3 of us ate beyond our known capacities. We later hooked up with Mamata at her office, and that’s when, against my wishes, it was decided that we stay overnight at her place. Naveen and Monali went shopping for handicraft gift items, stuff that the gora people appreciate very much. And I got a haircut, the shortest crop ever. It was so close to a clean shave, it’s only now, after 3 months, that I have to use a comb. I despise using a comb now. There was a time when I had longer hair. That was the time I had plenty of hair on my head.
Naveen was very enthusiastic about getting a beer, so we all drove around town to Purple Haze, the hippest pub in Mysore. On Christmas-eve, the hippest pub in Mysore had all but 10 customers, and that’s including the 4 of us. Anyways, I having quit alcohol, had forewarned the gang that I’d be sipping fresh lime, something they didn’t approve of at all. And when we finally sat down at the table, I let myself become weak, and ordered a tequila shot. One led to the other, then another, and when someone had paid the bill, I had had 6 shots.
After that, my memories are blurred. I vaguely remember climbing down a lot of stairs, eating yucky noodles, and then getting off the car in the apartment basement, and somebody scolding me for shouting. Then I remember lying on my back on the carpet and mumbling something non-stop. I’m quite sure I was walking on my own, because none of the others, or even all of them put together, would have had the strength to carry me around.
The next morning, we ate idlis and dosas for breakfast, and then I drove us back to Bangalore. The highlight of the drive was that I got stuck on one song and played it over and over again, and in fiddling with the mp3 player, nearly rammed into another car in front of us.
तू ही तो जन्नत मेरी, तू ही मेरा जूनून,
तू ही तो मन्नत मेरी, तू ही रूह का सुकून
तू ही अखियों की ठंडक, तू ही दिल की है दस्तक,
और कुछ न जानू में, बस इतना ही जानू
तुझ में रब दिखता है, यारा में क्या करूँ, सजदे सर झुकता है, यारा में क्या करूँ
ना कुछ पूछा, ना कुछ माँगा, तूने दिल से दिया जो दिया
ना कुछ बोला, ना कुछ तोला, मुस्कुरा के दिया जो दिया
तू ही धूप तू ही छाया, तू ही अपना पराया
और कुछ ना जानू, बस इतना ही जानू....
तुझ में रब दीखता है, यारा में क्या करूँ, सजदे सर झुकता है, यारा में क्या करूँ
Cheers
Mayur Poddar
@poddu.com
@www.67knots.com